Category Archives: Fun Stuff

Out the mouths of Babes…

Thanks to Mrs Bits for the following enlightening email …
(you want to check it for legally binding stuff before April Me Dear!?! ;) )

HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY?

You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming. — Alan, age 10

No person really decides before they grow up who they’re going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you’re stuck with. — Kristen, age 10

WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?

Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then. — Camille, age 10

No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get married. — Freddie, age 6 (very wise for his age)

HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?

You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids. — Derrick, age 8

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?

Both don’t want any more kids. — Lori, age 8

WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?

Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough. — Lynnette, age 8 (isn’t she a treasure)

On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date. — Martin, age 10

WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?

I’d run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns. — Craig, age 9

WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?

When they’re rich. — Pam, age 7

The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn’t want to mess with that. – – Curt, age 7

The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It’s the right thing to do. — Howard, age 8

IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?

It’s better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them. — Anita, age 9 (bless you child)

HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN’T GET MARRIED?

There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn’t there? — Kelvin, age 8

And the #1 Favourite is……..

HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?

Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck. — Ricky, age 10

stuff you didn’t know you didn’t know

Being a bit of a trivia buff this email appealed to me

In the 1400’s a law was set forth in England that a man was allowed to beat
> his wife with a stick no thicker than his thumb. Hence we have “the rule of
> thumb”
>
> Many years ago in Scotland, a new game was invented. It was ruled “Gentlemen
> Only…Ladies Forbidden”…and thus the word GOLF entered into the English
> language.
>
> The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV were Fred and
> Wilma Flintstone.
>
> Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the U.S.Treasury.
>
> Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better.
>
> Coca-Cola was originally green.
>
> It is impossible to lick your elbow.
>
> The State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work: Alaska
>
> The percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28% (now get this…)
>
> The percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38%
>
> The cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of eleven: $6,400
>
> The average number of people airborne over the U.S. in any given hour:
> 61,000
>
> Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.
>
> The first novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer.
>
> The San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments.
>
> Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history:
> Spades – King David; Hearts – Charlemagne; Clubs -Alexander the Great;
> Diamonds – Julius Caesar
>
> 111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321
>
> If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the
> air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg in the air
> the person died as a result of wounds received in battle. If the horse has
> all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.
>
> Q. Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of what?
> A. Their birthplace
> Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until you
> would find the letter “A”?
> A. One thousand
>
> Q. What do bullet proof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, and laser
> printers all have in common?
> A. All were invented by women.
>
> Q. What is the only food that doesn’t spoil?
> A. Honey
>
> Q. Which day are there more collect calls than any other day of the year?
> A. Father’s Day
>
> In Shakespeare’s time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes. When
> you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to
> sleep on. Hence the phrase……… “goodnight, sleep tight.”
>
> It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month
> after the wedding, the bride’s father would supply his son-in-law with all
> the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar was
> lunar based, this period was called the honey month, which we know today as
> the honeymoon.
>
> In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts… So in old England,
> when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them “Mind your pints
> and quarts, and settle down.”
> It’s where we get the phrase “mind your P’s and Q’s”
>
> Many years ago in England, pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim,
> or handle, of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they used the
> whistle to get some service. “Wet your whistle” is the phrase inspired by
> this practice.
>
> Don’t delete this just because it looks weird. Believe it or not, you
> canread it:
>
> I cnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The
> phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde
> Uinervtisy, it deosn’t mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the
> olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit
> plcae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a
> porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by
> istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh?

PMS Email – the truth revealed!!!

For all you Ladies … an email with more than a ring of truth …..

.Pass My Shotgun
> 2.Psychotic Mood Swing
> 3.Perpetual Munching Spree
> 4.Puffy Mid-Section
> 5.People Make me Sick
> 6.Provide Me with Sweets
> 7.Pardon My Sobbing
> 8Pimples May Surface
> 9.Pass My Sweatpants
> 10.Pissy Mood Syndrome
> 11.Plainly; Men Suck
> 12.Pack My Stuff
>
> …….and my favourite one..
13.Potential Murder Suspect

And as an example
> Q: How many women with PMS does it take to change a light bulb?

> A: One!!! ONLY ONE!!!! And do you know WHY?
Because no one else in this house knows HOW to
change a light bulb! They don’t even know that the
bulb is BURNED OUT!! They’d sit there in the dark
for THREE DAYS before they figured it out!! And,
once they figured it out, they wouldn’t be able to
find the light bulbs despite the fact they’ve been in
the SAME CUPBOARD for the past 13 YEARS! But
if they did, by some miracle of God, actually find
the bulbs 2 DAYS LATER, the chair they dragged to
stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would
STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!!!!! AND UNDERNEATH IT
WOULD BE THE WRAPPER THE STUPID LIGHT BULBS CAME
IN!!! BECAUSE NO ONE EVER CARRIES OUT THE
GARBAGE!!!! IT’S A WONDER WE HAVEN’T ALL
SUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE A FOOT
DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE!! IT WOULD TAKE
AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS DAMNED HOUSE!

> I’m sorry. What was your question?

My favourite ones are 3 and 6 …..

Happy New Year!!!!

98 days and counting ….

Welcome to 2006 ( the Year of MnM!)

Well I slept the New Year in … was woken by the fireworks outside and my first text of ’06 (Well done Jane for beating the blocked up phone system!)
Spent the first day of the new year with the Smarts – my two favorite blond bombshells and the blessed K&J.
Champagne …for everyone!
Managed to lose 2 games of Cluedo – well its been a long time – like the new figures they have to represent the characters – I was Mrs Peacock (Wife of Captain?) … and just generally had a good laugh and relax …

Am a bit put out in this technological world that I seem to have been cut off from my important connections … unless its cos we’ve melted the system with our texts :0)

May just have to shout a little louder to be heard!

Time for bed … as Zebdedee would say ….